I've thought a lot about what I would post here. I'm not going to go into details about my final round and recount every shot or situation. If you saw my Facebook status or the LPGA online results, I carded a 76 and it was not good enough to advance.
I want to caution you that this post may be a little "heavier" than my previous posts. I don't intend to be overly dramatic, but I want to give an honest account of this week. I realize that golf is just a game and I realize that even on my worst days, I am unbelievably blessed to have the opportunity to be doing what I'm doing. However, I also realize that a LOT of time and money have gone into the past two years to make this "game" a "career." As such, I pray about it and am as concerned about it just as many of you may treat your own careers.
I say all that as a preface to my summary of the week. Qualifying school is arguably the most important tournament of the year for a golfer. Your play for the week determines your status on the tour, which determines how many events you can compete in, which determines your schedule for the next year. I had worked harder than I have ever worked for this entire season to prepare for Q School this year. Looking back, I wouldn't change my strategy. I did everything I needed to do. I played in a lot of events. I was completely focused on golf, not allowing anything to compete with my time. And consequently, I came into this tournament more relaxed than normal and with the best attitude I had ever had coming into Q School competition. I knew that I had done everything I could have done and had prepared the absolute best I could, both mentally and physically. I realized the significance of this tournament, but I didn't put an enormous amount of pressure on myself like I had in the past. Even after the terribly disappointing finish on the first day, I didn't succumb to negative emotions and thoughts. I kept my head high this entire week.
There's only one thing I can conclude with all things considered: it was obviously not in the Lord's plan for me to advance to Stage III. Now, I understand that this statement may meet with disapproval from some of my readers. Some may think it's a "cop-out" or an excuse for my poor play. Some may think that God couldn't be further from life's outcomes. But this is what I believe: that God is not only present, but is intimately involved in not only my life, but in everything.
I promise, I don't mean to offer this as an "excuse" or a point of contention. Certainly there are points of my game that I can improve upon, and I plan on tackling them full force this off season. I take full responsibility for my play, and strive to become a better player each day. But just as the Lord can allow everything to come together, He can also allow everything to fall apart. And I have to acknowledge His presence in both situations, even when I don't understand it.
No doubt, my finish at this week's tournament has made my 2012 season a little more difficult than I would have wanted. But I take comfort that I did everything in my power to prepare and become a better player this year. And I have to remind myself that (thankfully) there is a plan, that there is Someone who is wiser, and that just as things can fall apart, He can put them back together.
I don't mean to "preach," and you are welcome to agree or disagree with my thoughts. No worries and certainly no judgement there! But I do want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and to follow me throughout this season. I cannot tell you how incredibly encouraging it has been to receive texts, phone calls, and comments from you all!!!! Thank you for following and for being a strong source of support. I look forward to keeping you updated on all that is in store for the 2012 season as well as this off season competition. I'll still be playing in Suncoast events this fall and winter, so keep an eye out for my blog updates! Thanks again.
